A lot of people used to say to me, 'Wow, I could never have done that' regarding giving up my job, my favourite rental apartment, & (what would later be) my stable relationship, to follow my heart and pursue trying to see the world.

The thing is, while I didn't have a clue about what was going to happen, I knew I had a gut feeling that I needed to explore. I wasn't unhappy, I wasn't lost, I didn't have this weird need to 'get out'.

From the outside, I had no serious reason to even consider leaving my happy, stable world behind.

The 'lightbulb' moment hit behind my desk at work.

Chasing The Opportunity to Travel The World For Free

A nice hotel by the sea in England, my first real job, was where I'd just finished my university degree. At the time, I was also fresh into a big promotion that the hotel had given me (gulp), and I was finally deepening my role alone after some intense training for the new position.

Part of my new responsibilities as a manager was to create and oversee the rota, handling everything from day-to-day schedule plus holiday periods, appointments, and days-off requests.

I remember sitting with a small pile of calendar dates next to me from my colleagues (also feeling some type of weird power in being able to decide and authorise what they could or couldn't do).

The hotel was busy, on a seafront location, and it was mostly fully booked during weekends, school breaks, public holidays, the whole of summer, Christmas.

In other words: the times that everyone working would prefer to take time off in, too.

As I was poring over these holiday requests, I remembered in that moment that everyone, including me, could only request a maximum of four weeks off per year.

4 weeks, out of 52.

4/52.

!!!!!!!

This was very nearly the lightbulb moment, but not yet.

Our requested time off, the only length of time to be able to do anything or go anywhere meaningful (like spending decent time abroad), was all supposed to pack into a measly FOUR WEEKS, that you likely would never take together.

This thought pattern continued to bubble over.

Where Would You Like To Spend Your Time?

At that point, any hours of my regular time off were (arguably) already being spent in the best place in England -- the south coast, specifically Jurassic Coast, is a beautiful sandy coastline stretching for nearly 100 miles and with beaches frequently voted as some of the best in Europe. It definitely was no bad place to live. (Actually, it's really incredible to explore if you've never been... you maybe need one or two weeks time off to hit all the spots. Wink.)

But despite my idyllic, sweet little English beach town, what naturally followed was to consider other 'best places' that might provide a wonderful environment to enjoy time off -- where do lucky people live, enjoying their surroundings, that are great places to already live and work?

Antigua?

Tuscany?

Florida?

Portugal?

Oh, there were too many places that filled my mind: dreamy scenarios of quiet cobbled streets smelling of pastries and wine, finding shade under striped umbrellas on baking hot and bustling beaches, or quiet, tree-lined roads winding through Mediterranean countrysides.

But I liked my job. And of course, you need money to live. How would that even work?

Cue the lightbulb moment, right there.

The Start of the Beginning

What happens if I attempted to move to a job abroad, then I could spend ALL my time off exploring incredible places -- even places that people usually PAID to go to on holiday???

From that moment, I swear my life changed.

It's not that I didn't like what I was doing, or where I was. I didn't have this overwhelming NEED to break ties with anything, or uproot my life completely, or any kind of existential crisis you see in films like Eat, Pray, Love.

I loved my room in my apartment, my roommate, and the area I was living.

I loved that Reception job, the team, and the growth I was experiencing not just in work, but as a person too.

I also loved my relationship at the time; he was nice, supportive, and excited for me. (We broke down for good around a year after I left, distance is hard - I guess I don't blame him whatsoever.)

I knew somewhere inside me that I craved seeing more, and that was enough to pursue.

This is my message to say, that sometimes you have to trust yourself. I didn't have all the answers about what was going to happen.

But what would have happened if I stayed put? If I didn't act on my impulses, even slowly? If I didn't follow the callings of my heart? Oh, the things I'd have missed.

OH, THE THINGS I WOULD HAVE MISSED.

Eat, Pray, Love, and Most Importantly... Explore

I wouldn't have experienced the most incredible places, from Italy, to Morocco, to the Caribbean, to Greece.

I wouldn't have developed half the life skills that I did, life or work, or be looking back proud of myself beyond measure.

I wouldn't have met my now-fiancé, or be typing this from his home country with a ring on my finger after moving in with him. (That's a good future blog post. It's a realllyyyy crazy one.)

It reminds me of the quote I posted on my social media right before taking the travel job, in all my angst: 'Oh, but what I fall?' 'Oh darling, but what if you FLY?'

Well, I lived out of suitcases. Learned new routines. Many times. Missed my friends and family so much it hurt. Adopted 'figuring it out' as my entire lifestyle.

Living in different places, but never putting down actual roots or making anything permanent was the biggest paradox.

Here's something I want you to learn.

If there's an inner voice inside you that won't relent about something, that's your soul talking. It's telling you not to give up on that thought, that wonder, curiosity, hope -- at the very least, to acknowledge it. To give it a chance, or explore it. You owe yourself that.

So might future you.

I made the life-changing decision to leave behind everything and everyone I loved. The routines, and the life I knew. I had no idea if it would be the worst decision I made, that I would yearn for my old job back, miss my old apartment & wish I never gave up on it; or find that the boy 'waiting for me' at home didn't deserve me putting distance between us selfishly, and I'd completely ruin my love-life and future.

I had so many unanswered questions, but in the end, you have to trust in your gut.

Overcome What Might Hold You Back

Here's another thing that's important to learn.

If you unapologetically follow the feelings inside you, and commit to them and trust them so deeply: it's impossible to ever regret them.

So what if I did get out there and realise it was the worst thing in the world.

I could always go back, start over, find new endeavours or other things to pursue. That's what life's about. I can alter course again. And again. And start over again. Hell, AGAIN, if I want to.

At least I would have tried.

There's a saying, "It's better to regret the things you did do, than the things you didn't do", and I honestly believe it speaks so much truth.

I made the no-regrets pact with myself around that time and it was one of the most responsible, sensible things I ever did for my peace of mind. I granted myself executive freedom.

I told myself that I could never make a wrong decision, and it changed my life. NO restrictions. Just pure freedom of choice in that I can choose for myself whatever step I take.

Whatever decision I want.

Whatever path I might feel.

Whatever that is, it's the correct one.

Trusting in yourself so implicitly that whatever happens, you can literally have zero regrets because you already have the belief in your heart that every decision is the already the right one.

Even if, in those moments or afterwards, it FELT like the wrong one, or I had no idea about outcome.

You have to surrender to yourself, and trust that even if it turns out nothing like you hoped, it's along a path being carved that's much greater than anything you can see, feel, or understand in the moment.

I know that's a big one to digest.

Ultimately though, that's the recipe to not regretting a thing, and finding peace.

You should never regret finding the confidence to be brave, or take a chance. It all lies within you. Trust in yourself, and no matter what else happens around you, you've got yourself.

Your heart, your authenticity, your truth.

Your curiosity, your fire, your spirit.

You should never regret anything, because in that moment, you thought it was the right action or decision anyway. And that's enough, always.

'But what if it doesn't work out?' I get that, I really do.

But what if it does?

Keep fiercely carving your pathway,

-fe